For those of you who don't know, my birthday is coming up next week. I will be officially in my LATE THIRTIES.
So I know that some of you are saying "yeah, but you're just a spring chicken, a mere babe in the grand scheme of Father Time." Ok, but still. LATE THIRTIES.
I am having a surprisingly harder time with this than some of my previous birthdays, but sometimes random ages sneak up on you and scare the crap out of you. For example, when I turned 26. That birthday hit me hard. Why? It took me a while to dissect the psychology, but it finally dawned on me that I was now older than all of my childhood Barbie dolls. I had established their ages in my 8 year old head, and so the realization that I would never be the successful Veterinarian/Flight Attendant/Model/Jogger/Astronaut that she was....well, it was humbling.
Of course, there are perks to not being Barbie. Being able to wear flats, for instance. And also not having the dog chew your hand off. Hopefully.
Speaking of dogs, check out this monster:
This is Mini (short for Minion), Noel's sister's 95 lb. pit bull. (That's Brittney on the left - Hi Britt!). And no, Noel isn't trying to ride the dog. He's trying to hold her still for the camera because (1) she is a massive chicken-shit, and (2) she wants to love on everyone and will come sit on your foot. Which is not a flattering camera angle for you or the dog.
Mini here would probably eat most of a Barbie. But then look scared if you caught her in the act. She's hilarious.
Also she drooled on my pants leg. Twice.
At least she strikes terror in the hearts of potential intruders. Drawback? She also scares the crap out of the pizza delivery guy. Not good.
Meanwhile, for those who are so brazen that they would consider breaking into our home, fear THIS:
Or don't. They won't wake up either way.